#1
$14.00
Surreal Score: 7.5/10novelty
Archie McPhee Yodeling Pickle
A pickle. That yodels. Fourteen dollars. You're welcome.
ACQUIRE THISAre you tired of being the BORING person at parties?
$16.00
THE NOVELTY VAULT
Nicolas Cage Sequin Pillowcase
Merrycolor
“Swipe right on Nic Cage. Literally. With your hand. On a pillow.”
Surreal Score: 7.8/10
Surreal Score Breakdown
Absurdity Index9/10
Meme Potential10/10
Practical Value2/10
Price-to-WTF Ratio10/10
Overall Surreal Score7.8/10
The Verdict
Run your hand across the sequins and Nicolas Cage's face slowly materializes like a fever dream. Run it the other way and he vanishes. This is the closest humanity has come to summoning a deity through upholstery. It works in both directions and so does Cage's career.
The Good
- ✓The reveal moment is pure, undistilled joy every single time
- ✓Two-way sequins mean infinite Cage appearances and disappearances
- ✓Sixteen dollars to own a piece of internet history
- ✓Genuinely well-made pillow cover that happens to feature a national treasure
- ✓Works as a conversation starter and a conversation ender
The Bad
- ✗Guests will be deeply uncomfortable and that is the point
- ✗Sequins shed like a glitter crime scene
- ✗You will spend more time revealing Cage's face than sleeping
$16.00 on Amazon. Prices may vary.
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#2
$5.00
Surreal Score: 7.8/10novelty
Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer
Why use a knife when you can use BANANA TECHNOLOGY?
ACQUIRE THIS#3
$25.00
Surreal Score: 7.3/10novelty
Horse Head Mask
Be the horse you were always meant to be. Twenty-five dollars.
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