Are you tired of using a toilet that DOESN'T have Bluetooth?

KOHLER Numi 2.0 Smart Toilet (White)
$8,997
THE LUXURY ABSURDIST

KOHLER Numi 2.0 Smart Toilet (White)

KOHLER

“Nine grand. For a toilet. With Bluetooth. And you're considering it.”

Surreal Score: 7.5/10

Surreal Score Breakdown

Absurdity Index9/10
Meme Potential9/10
Practical Value8/10
Price-to-WTF Ratio4/10
Overall Surreal Score7.5/10

The Verdict

A nine-thousand-dollar toilet with built-in speakers, ambient lighting, a heated seat, automatic lid, UV sanitization, and a bidet with personalized settings. It has Bluetooth. Your toilet has Bluetooth. You can pair your phone to your toilet. Somewhere, a Roman emperor is weeping with envy.

The Good

  • ✓Heated seat means winter bathroom visits become a spa experience
  • ✓Built-in bidet with adjustable everything, because you deserve it
  • ✓Ambient LED lighting turns your bathroom into a nightclub at 3 AM
  • ✓Automatic flush, lid, and deodorizer because your hands are too important
  • ✓UV self-cleaning technology for the toilet that cleans itself

The Bad

  • ✗Nine thousand dollars for a toilet, which is more than most used cars
  • ✗When it breaks, you're calling a plumber AND an IT department
  • ✗Your guests will spend forty-five minutes in your bathroom pressing buttons
  • ✗The Bluetooth pairing process for a toilet is a sentence that exists now
ACQUIRE ON AMAZON

$8,997 on Amazon. Prices may vary.

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