Are you tired of using a toilet that DOESN'T have Bluetooth?

KOHLER Numi Original Smart Toilet
$6,650
THE LUXURY ABSURDIST

KOHLER Numi Original Smart Toilet

KOHLER

“The original luxury toilet. Six grand. The budget option, apparently.”

Surreal Score: 7/10

Surreal Score Breakdown

Absurdity Index9/10
Meme Potential8/10
Practical Value8/10
Price-to-WTF Ratio3/10
Overall Surreal Score7/10

The Verdict

The original smart toilet. The OG. Before the Numi 2.0, there was just the Numi, and it was already more expensive than your first car. Heated seat, bidet, automatic everything. It paved the way for the ten-thousand-dollar sequel. This is the budget option at sixty-six hundred dollars, and typing that sentence felt illegal.

The Good

  • ✓The 'affordable' luxury toilet at a mere sixty-six hundred dollars
  • ✓Pioneered the smart toilet category for the domestic market
  • ✓Heated seat and integrated bidet that changed what bathrooms could be
  • ✓Touchscreen remote control because buttons are for regular toilets

The Bad

  • ✗Sixty-six hundred dollars is the 'budget' version and that is a real sentence
  • ✗Technology from the first generation means fewer features than the 2.0
  • ✗Parts and service for a discontinued smart toilet is an adventure
  • ✗Explaining to guests why your toilet has a remote control
ACQUIRE ON AMAZON

$6,650 on Amazon. Prices may vary.

More From The Luxury Absurdist